May 4, 1677 In the Year of Our Lord

God is good. It has been a year since I have been set free from my captivity from the natives. Joseph is now a minister in Connecticut and I believe that our family has all but completely healed. We talk from time to time of the experiences we had in that time but do not have much bitterness towards those natives. Joseph has taught me that I must forgive them, and pray for their souls. I am learning how to do this; it is difficult to pray for a people who tortured you for so long and at who's hands you had so much suffering. It is hard but with God's grace, I am learning. I hope to soon begin publishing my account, as I believe the experience to be unique, if not informative to the general public. I am still searching for someone to help me with that. We shall see if the Lord wills that to unfold.

May 4, 1676 In the Year of Our Lord

I am blessed beyond understanding. God hears the prayers of cry out to him. My story is evidence of that. I have been given both of my children! My family is together again, save for little Sarah. We are not yet used to the fact that she is gone, and perhaps never will be. The Lord has brought me and mine out of the pit and has placed us amidst loving brothers and sisters who are tender-hearted and compassionate. I believe that there will be much healing that must go on but, as we are together, we can hold each other up.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation-so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident." Psalm 27:1-3

God is good.

May 2, 1676 In the Year of Our Lord

I am overjoyed. I am almost to be returned home! I have quit the Indians and tomorrow will reunite with my husband in Boston. God is good. I lived among the most savage of beings and prayed daily for deliverance and His intervention to redeem me. He does not forget those He loves. I am full of awe for the love and faithfulness of God. I pray that I can share my story with all those who would hear; to express how , "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..even there your hand will guide me." (Psalm 23)

With this joy however, comes sorrow. I know not of my children and whether they are even still alive. I have not heard tell of either of them in quite a while and it will be more than difficult to be reunited to Joseph and not hear of them.

Oh God, thank you for this blessing. You are more than good. There is nothing I have that You have not given to me. I ask that You would bring home my children as well. Be with them where ever they are.

May 1, 1676 In the Year of Our Lord

With the time that Mr. Hoar has been gone, I have done much reflection on these past few months. God provides, and not just for those who follow Him. As Matthew 5:45 says, "For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike." He brought nourishment to these heathens, and they would in turn go and desolate His children. Often times this nourishment was repulsive to me; being found in the most loathsome places. They would eat anything that was living; often finding animals such as beaver, tortoise, frog, squirrel, dog, skunk, rattlesnake, and even the bark of a tree. All of this they took to be their customary food, but it took me quite a while to not think them animals themselves for eating all these.

I do not understand the native people. They mourn for their own losses but cannot see how I might want to mourn mine. There is no empathetic bone in their evil bodies. They grip Colonial towns by the throat and think nothing of it. They boasted in these victories, proud at how easily they had destroyed a town and it's inhabitants.

Can they not see what they are doing through my eyes? Do they not understand that they would feel sorrow if the English were to move in on their territories and destroy their homes? I am tired of this place. I am ready to leave.

April 30, 1676 In the Year of Our Lord-Prayers

God, teach me to surrender to your will in this. I cannot see why you should not want me to be free, yet help me to accept whatever happens. I do not know how life with these Natives would be if I were not to be rescued. I am tired and worn out, and have not had a hope to hold onto in quite some time. I know that You promise to be with us and to deliver us from evil, yet it's also hard to trust whatever decision You make. Give my husband wisdom to know what to do; I pray that the funds will come together that I might be redeemed. Be with my children and comfort their souls wherever they might be. Thank you for your love. I love you.

April 30, 1676 In the Year of Our Lord

I cannot sleep. It has been three nights since my body has rested itself. Mr. Hoar is gone back home, to tell the council of the decision of my master and to express his terms to them. I am so afraid of the unknown. I am afraid of the littlest detail not coming together for my deliverance; it is often that God leaves us in the dark when deliverance is nearest. Thoughts of my time spent with these natives threaten to become reality for the rest of my life. I have no news of late of my children and no real confirmation that Joseph will be able to pay the twenty shillings. I pray that God's will be done, yet I will that His and mine be aligned. I want so much to be home and rid of these woods; to live amidst the friends I once had.

April 28, 1676 In the Year of Our Lord

I write this to point out yet another reason why these natives are heathens, and if only they would learn more about the faith we hold, and the God we serve, they would be better off.

A man, by the name of Mr. John Hoar, had come from Massachusetts and was a delegate from my husband. He came bearing gifts and to seek my redemption on behalf of Joseph. Here was a display like I had never seen before. Mr. Hoar brought lots of food and trinkets, as well as tobacco and alcohol. He gave me a pound of tobacco and this I sold for nine shillings. The natives could not get their hands on that wretched product fast enough. My master would not take the delegation from Mr. Hoar but took the alcohol that was brought and drank it in it's entirety. This was the first time I'd seen a Native drunk, which is a bit surprising considering their nature. However, he proceeded to chase his squaw when she resisted his commands. Having an older squaw, he ran to her and occupied himself for the night. This caused quite a stir around the camp and I could not help but think of how all of that could have been avoided if only he knew some responsibility and self control. For Puritan society teaches both of these and Mr. Increase Mather states it this way: "Drink is in itself a good creature of God, and to be received with thankfulness, but the abuse of drink is from Satan; the wine is from God, but the Drunkard is from the Devil." Again, I am reminded of just how close these natives live to the Devil himself.