February 11, 1676 In the Year of Our Lord (Evening)

I cannot sleep. I am shaking and trembling, having fallen into a violent fever on account of my wounds. If I am in this state, I cannot imagine, nor would like to, the state my little Sarah is in. She moans and calls out and seems to be losing her strength. With all that I have, I have rocked her back and forth, somehow trying to envelope her in warmth so she might drift to sleep. This is to no avail.

I have to constantly remind myself that I am not alone. The words of the much-loved minister Thomas Shepard remind me of God's presence: "The Lord can never get near enough to His people and thinks He can never get them near enough unto Himself..." Although I do not have anyone to console me, nor hope for what the future might hold, I know that God is here. He has been so in the past and his promises stand true. The Lord spoke to Joshua saying "I will never leave you nor forsake you." (1.5) I cannot but believe that this promise is for me as well.

God give me strength to trust You. Deliver me from evil for your name's sake. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.