April 9, 1676 In the Year of Our Lord

I have had a tumultuous day. From extreme excitement to a snuffing of that elation, I have had a long day emotionally. It began on a Sabbath morning. We were on the move again and this time moving more northwards as I understand it. I had heard of prisoners being let go for a ransom sum, that these Indians were more interested in the material worth of a person and might make an exchange. So, with this in mind, I approached my master and asked whether he would "sell" me back to my husband. He answered "Nux," meaning "yes" in their tongue. Yes! I might be reunited with my husband! We lived a comfortable life before this captivity, as I come from a fairly wealthy family. How much this ransom would be, I had yet to procure but this was no matter. I hoped to God that redemption was not far off; that I might be reunited with my family and rid of these despicable creatures once and for all. I had my head in these thoughts for quite some time and with a cheered spirit, I carried my burden as if it were as light as a feather.

However, my elation only lasted a passing moment. My mistress would not go any further, and would stay behind as the rest of the Indians traveled on. She demanded they return for her later. She entreated her husband to let me go with her, and he granted her this permission. I was so angry. She had no reason to take me with her, and I would be moving closer to my husband if I stayed with the group. However, the agreement was already made. It seems that my suffering would have to continue. However, God put this reminder in my head: "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46.10) I confess that my heart was heavy as we left. My master was the closest thing I had to a friend among the Natives, and now he was gone. I was left to the mercy of my master.

I don't know what the immediate future holds. I had hoped to come across my husband but it seems that this is not to be the case. How long will I linger here? How long will I be held captive? The charge to stay behind the group would not have been so harsh if I had not heard that I might be ransomed to my husband.

God give me strength